Not that I ever went that far, but if I can’t make jokes and dine out on horrible things that I have done or have happened to me, then fuck that. I am going to get some fun out of the bloody things, I paid enough for them.
"don’t make jokes about your own experiences because i find it offensive"
okay, listen: my experiences belong to me, and if want to make horrible jokes about the actual and literal suicide attempt that fractured my fucking spine then i will
So I started an aerial class, again, yesterday. I got there in time for a coffee, and watched people go in, all of them narrow framed or skinny or short or delicate, and though I hate the fantasy of being thin (when I am thin I will do X, or when I am fit I will go back to wrestling, whatever), I did have serious thoughts about this maybe being the exception to the rule, and maybe I should start looking for a back-street liposuctionist.
Then I did the class. I didn’t do _well_- both modesty and accuracy forbid me to say so- but I did better than I thought I would, and though I dripped sweat onto the floor several times, I didn’t have to stop for a breather or a drink. So that’s progress.
And the best thing, which I only realised that afternoon, is that last time I took an aerial class, I was a lot worse. I was also three stone lighter, and spending a lot more time at the gym (also climbing more, but I’m mostly doing Krav these days, where there are more bodyweight exercises, woo +waves tiniest flag+).
TL:DR, fuck yeah! But still going to go looking for fat aerial types, poledancers, etc etc.
I wonder if I would be taken seriously if I were to start asking about sterilisation? I don’t think I’m ever going to want children, and I don’t think I’m ever going to be fit to have children, so it would be nice not to have to worry about.
Between HabitRPG and Unfuck Your Habitat, I am getting a little better about keeping the flat nice. After watching my parents move, I am considering minimalism, or at least purging some clothes. I am still sleeping on a double mattress on a king size frame, and I’d really like to upgrade at some point, which will mean getting the flat into a state where I can get stuff in and out.
Also, I need to think about the balcony gardens again, and I’d really like to get my living room back to how it was. Lots of work to do.